As the school year begins to wind down, I find my mind having more available space to think about my family. It really amazes me, how much time and energy my job takes sometimes. I always thought that teaching would be the perfect job for a mother, but I don’t always feel that they are as compatible as I thought they would be. I am the kind of person who does things 100%. None of this half way stuff. So when I’m teaching… I’m 100%. When I’m taking pictures, I’m 100%. When I’m home I try to be wife and mom 100%. The problem occurs when the lines aren’t able to be quite so rigid. Sometimes, mom gets pulled on while I’m wearing the teacher hat, and quite often the teacher hat needs to be worn during mom time! I think I’ve done a pretty good job balancing this year, but it certainly hasn’t been easy.
With only 3 weeks left of this school year, I am beginning to think about the summer for Team V. Normally this is an exciting process, but not so much this year!
Unfortunately, I’m having trouble seeing past the month of June. I’m really trying hard to take it all in stride, but sometimes my mind isn’t quite as capable of conquering my heart!! (darn it!)
Rylie’s surgery is scheduled for June 30th, and I have to admit, I’m really scared!
We were supposed to meet with her cardiac surgeon, on 5/26, to go over everything for her surgery. But our meeting had to be rescheduled. We are waiting to hear back from the surgeon about another time that will work for him. I feel like I need to be walked through everything and really prepared. Although, I do know from experience, that nothing can prepare me for turning over my child to have heart surgery. I usually feel like I’m doing a pretty good job of handling it, of praying through it, and then the day of the surgery comes, and they take her away… and I fall to pieces!!! I can’t even begin to explain the heart wrenching fear that overcomes me in those following hours! I’m even beginning to tear up now, just thinking about it!
So I try to stay busy, and push away the fear. There is so much to do, there is soooooo much to do. Focus on the school year, focus on the fun, focus on family!! But I am slowly running out of time to be in denial, and I need to start preparing myself and my family. There are a few things that I really can’t put off any longer.
1. find people for direct blood donation. Rylie may be put on bi-pass for this next surgery. She is in need of blood. I will be donating, but we need more.
If you are a healthy friend of the family and are B+, than we would ask for you to consider donating blood for Rylie. We have orders at the blood bank for red blood cells, and platelets. Other compatible blood types for red blood are: B+, B-, O+, & O- and we will need a man to donate platelets (B+, B-, AB+, AB-), close to the surgery.
2. get family photos done. I need to get pictures of the entire family done. We do not have good pictures of all of us, since Griffyn was born! The frustration is that I can’t easily be behind the camera and in front of it, at the same time. Money is tight, so worst case, I’ll have to do photos on a remote… but this absolutely has to happen.
3. line up help getting my aunt from the airport to our house on the 29th, because she is coming into Orange County, and I will be in San Diego doing pre-op stuff with Rylie.
4. line up child care help for Campbelle, Griffyn and Wesley for the 29th, while I’m at the hospital with Rylie.
5. make a photo memory board for us to take to the hospital, and collect special things to have around Rylie while she is in the hospital.
6. prepare for the unknown???
We feel so blessed that my Aunt Rita will be coming out to help bridge the gap, while Rylie is at the hospital. Right now, the doctors are planning for only 5 days in the hospital, and I will be hoping for that outcome and no complications. My aunt is planning to be here for 10 days, so we should have coverage for the kids while Mike and I tag team back and forth to the hospital. I am so very torn, because having to leave Griffyn will be so hard, but I know that I will want to be with Rylie. I will definitely need to pace myself. Just knowing that my aunt will be here, takes such a HUGE weight off of my shoulders.
At this point, Rylie’s recovery is unknown. I have no way to prepare for what things will be like once we get her home, but I will certainly be looking forward to that. We are trying to begin talking to Rylie about the surgery. She is so very afraid of doctors, that it is difficult. But we are talking to her about trying to set up some new “princess” things in her room for her to return to!
I am assuming that the surgery will go as planned, without complications. Frankly, I can’t even allow myself to go to any other outcome.
Please pray for my family, if you think about it… the next 6 weeks are going to be difficult, and especially once school is out for summer.
I will try to blog about things as I know them, and keep people informed about her progress through the surgery and recovery. Thanks in advance for your support- friends!
For more information about Rylie’s heart defect and the course of surgery click here! She is scheduled for the “Fontan Completion” surgery next month.
Here is a drawing of her broken heart to explain.
